جوک انگلیسی

Animal Jokes for Kids
• Why do bees hum? Because they don’t know the words.
• Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it’s too far to walk.

• What goes up slowly and comes down quickly? An elephant in a lift.
• Why is there a crab in prison? Because he kept pinching things!
• What do you call a brainy insect? A spelling bee.
• Why did the man throw the butter out the window? Because he wanted to see butterfly.
• What happened to the cat that swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens.
• How do porcupines kiss each other? Very carefully.
• What do you give an elephant with big feet? Plenty of room!
• Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
• What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
• Why does everyone love cats? Because they’re purr-fect!
• Where do cows go with their friends? The moooovies!
• How do you keep an elephant in suspense? I’ll tell you tomorrow.
• What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

English Language Jokes
• So English, I fancy you all agree, is the funniest language you ever did see.
• English might be the most widespread language in the world but there’s still no ham in hamburger, no egg in eggplant and neither pine nor apple in pineapple.
• The thing you’re looking for is always found in the last place you look.
• What did the man who walked into a bar say? Ouch!
• Why did the boy eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
• What are two things people never eat before breakfast? Lunch and dinner.
• Why is the number six so scared? Because seven eight nine!
• If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
• If we are the human race, then who is winning?
• If vegetarians eat vegetables then what on earth do humanitarians eat?!
• Some writing tips:
• Exaggeration is a trillion times worse than understatement.
• Rhetorical questions, who needs them?
• When writing in English, contractions shouldn’t be used.
• Stop using exclamation marks!!!